GLITCHED REALITY PATCH - Multiverse Malfunction Runder Aufkleber

Yo, listen up! This ain't your grandma's iron-on patch. This is a genuine artifact from a glitched-out dimension, salvaged by yours truly from a parallel universe yard sale (long story). Slap this bad boy on your jacket, backpack, or forehead and instantly become a walking paradox. Rumor has it this patch alters your perception of reality, unlocks hidden cheat codes, and makes you immune to Mondays. Probably. Features: "Pixelated reality warp that shifts colors depending on your mood (or the nearest Wi-Fi signal)." "100% untested for interdimensional travel." "Includes a free 'How to Explain Your Existence to Aliens' pamphlet (mostly doodles)." WARNING: "May cause mild disorientation, sudden urges to speak in binary code, and a strong belief that pigeons are government drones. Only 12 left (because the rest phased through the floor). Don't miss out on this limited-time glitch!